...

i'm so delusional these days that i haven't even been able to keep up with the blog.

in fact, i didn't realise that my last post ended with i'm tired, and the post before that is abt how tired i am.

and i'm lazy. so lazy that i haven't done a proper grocery run in almost a month. what do i eat? what do i live on? you'd laugh if i told you. so i'm not going to. i'm just really good at making things to eat out of nothing...maybe this is the reason i'm tired, so maybe you're right, Ms. EAF. so not only do i not clean my apt, i don't do my groceries. i'm going to make an awful wife.

my mum's scared that i've lost so much weight that i will get sick; and if i get sick, then i won't be able to recover quickly because i've lost so much weight. more than the weight loss, a bigger concern is the hair loss. i've always had...um...less than fabulous hair...and that's a euphemism. i have retarded hair, and i'm hating it more and more everyday that goes by because i can't do anything with it. i have a wedding to go to this weekend for which i've bought a new dress, new shoes, and tomorrow i go for a new haircut (a haircut's been due for months) but i know it will only make a diff the day of and that's it.

today's been an especially low day...i'm missing my grandmother terribly...i don't know how it's been 2 yrs already since she left us...and i don't remember feeling this way last year....this time it's been especially bad. i really really miss her.